The Many Milestones Besharam crosses

Milestone 1: “Besharam” title track

A still from the song " Besharam". Photo courtesy: Internet

You are just 5 minutes into the movie and have been introduced to the villain and subsequently the hero. Hero’s entry comes through with a long, ‘never ending’ car stealing sequence. Title track is essential since it showcases the hero’s inherent ability to make every possible part of his body dance in ‘Jadoo’ (shiny golden in colour) like clothes. This track, according to the director, should be enough to establish the character Babli, or so I should believe. People with good observational skills can spot the director himself doing the ‘rubbing-the-thighs-with-a-sense-of-opulence’ steps joining the hero in a desperate attempt to make it look all lustrous and fun. It fails.

Milestone 2: “Tere Mohalle”

This one is essential too since it’s the heroine’s friend’s wedding and the heroine is the apple of everyone’s eye, so going by Bollywood’s old ritual, she has to perform to a song to which the hero joins in. It’s still better. My only favourite from the lot. I personally liked the choreography and costumes.

A still from the song “Tere Mohalle”. Photo courtesy: Internet

Milestone 3: “Love Ki Ghanti”

This one marks the celebration of coming across the heroine’s house and the hero spreads merry all around the mohalla. It is sung by Ranbir himself who also manages to jump, crawl and perform other circus stunts in the ‘not-so-spacious’ mohalla amidst the overcrowded back dancers. Of course the policemen come in to show their solidarity towards the hero.

Milestone 4: "Dill ka joh haal hai" 

Sung in the mesmerizing voice of Abhijeet, the track proves out to be saviour when the hero falls short of tactics to irritate the heroine. the track has no tune, no great lyrics. just two people on the road in an open jeep trying to pass time. Good for them, but, sadly not for the audiences.

Milestone 5: "Tu Hai"

A sad song is vital to the plot and goes without saying that such sad songs make it easier for the couple to make the viewers believe that their love is true.

Milestone 6: "Aa Re Aa Re"

Sung by Mika Singh and Shreya Ghoshal, the song is extremely essential to the plot as it shows the vibrancy and colourfulness of Punjab. With bright colours and sarso ke khet, the song gets complete when the lead pair dress up in traditional Punjabi costumes as though they are participating in some random school's fancy dress competition. One song on the way to Chandigarh, hence a song, on way back makes absolute sense. -_-

Milestone 7: "Chal Hand Uthake Nachche"  

A still from the song "Aa Re". Photo Courtesy: Internet

This proves out to be the most historic event in the history of Indian cinema. All the three Kapoors of the family come together in this song spreading the message to ‘raise your hands and dance’ (at least this is what the translation of the lyrics say : P )

Milestone 8: Ranbir’s the most embarrassing movie of his career

His motivation is an uninspiring mix of Lage Rao Munnabhai (unknowingly hurting his lady love due to his unlawful acts) and his Granduncle Shammi Kapoor's classic Bhramachari (taking care of an orphanage). He tries hard to engage the audience with his silly at times vulgar humour, but fails miserably. I can do better comedy than you, any day. :/

Milestone 9: Pallavi Sharda’s not-so-impressive debut as the lead

She has, maybe, just 2 expressions to throw throughout the film.  For the love story of a 'Besharam' character like Babli to work, it is important to have a girl who is totally out of his league. Only then will one be convinced about his sudden vulnerability and change of heart. Pallavi Sharda's look is ordinary and she comes across as very bland, making it difficult to believe that a shameless and self-centred bloke like Babli would flip each time he sees her. I can’t stop wandering in despair what was she thinking when she was delivering her dialogues in the second half while slowly getting inclined towards the hero. Somebody tell her, showing your cleavage in fully Indian clothes won't help much.

Milestone 10: The curious case of the Kapoor clan

One of the biggest blunders in Besharam is the poor characterization of Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Kapoor's roles. The most loved couple of Indian cinema, Rishi and Neetu symbolize 'all things beautiful' in our movies. However in Besharam, a legend such as Rishi Kapoor has been reduced to doing toilet humour, while Neetu Kapoor is shockingly given a shabbily-written, bitter role that evokes zero sympathy. With the Kapoor trio in their cast, the makers of Besharam had a golden chance of giving us a memorable film or at least some delightful scenes featuring the three - But like Yamla Pagla Deewana 2, the opportunity is blown-up completely due to pedestrian writing. Truly a wasted chance!

I so wanted to talk about the holes in the story but the climax left me all the more flabbergasted. I am saying no more.

 

A still from the movie. Photo Courtesy: Internet

Foresight 1: The genuinely gifted Lalit (of Jatin-Lalit fame) serves up left over tunes that are just a rehash of the composer duo’s memorable work in films like Sarfarosh and Yes Boss. Even the sound and playback feel stale. Hence, Pandit, will be thrown out of the industry after this.

Foresight 2: Anurag kashyap will throw brother Abhinav Kashyap out of their home and subsequently ancestral property for throwing their family name in the gutters.

Foresight 3: While Besharam does have an amusing first half (I am being generous here), the movie hits a dead-end soon after interval, and becomes a tiring slog. By the end of the film, even the talented cast seems to stop caring and looks completely disinterested in the proceedings. Abhinav, feeling guilty for putting a halting stop to Ranbir’s speeding career and his subsequent dismissal from his family, may contemplate going underground.

Photo Courtesy: ME

All my hopes went into trash when not a single soul could be seen in or around the theatre on a fine Saturday afternoon to catch the latest rising superstar Ranbir’s much awaited movie. Huge crowds of young girls, couples and teenagers was what I expected. Instead, the theatre wore a sulking, dull, deserted look. Seems like I should have taken the cue and not willingly submitted myself to the torture.